The following are a list of mindful based resources that will help you identify and better manage the daily situations in your life that cause you to feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed. Stressful situations may include environments that are too loud/not loud enough, too bright/too dim, too many people/loneliness. They may also be environments that you find confusing(e.g., being in groups of people where you struggle to understand or track the conversation, situations where you have a hard time understanding the rules or what is expected of you). Along with this, the recent COVID-19 has turned our world and routines completely upside down, creating a kind of stress that feels monumental for those of us on the autism spectrum. By identifying both covert and overt situations that cause us stress especially right now, we can begin the first step in being able to manage our stress and any potential triggers to relapsing via problematic behavior (for me that involves bingeing on ice cream bars). For autistic individuals in recovery from any type of addiction, this handout can be a helpful resource in creating sustainable new rituals and routines to support you in achieving lasting recovery (these tools work if you are willing to practice them daily!).
It is important to remember that we must practice mindfulness based tools throughout each day to feel a difference. “Crisis mindfulness” isn’t effective. I know this since I used to be a crisis meditator-only tried to meditate when I was in crisis--completely ineffective.
First, identify the following issues:
Note (mentally or write it down) the situations in your life that cause you to feel stressed out, anxious and upset (e.g., angry, tense muscles, agitation, annoyance). An example may be, “I tend to say ‘yes’ too much then end up burning out on life and melting down or shutting down” or “I over-work at my relationships, health, etc. then go into a major depression and don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.” Other situations that will likely cause you to feel chronically stressed is if you are experiencing a loss (of loved one or due to divorce, loss of job), legal issues.
If you struggle to identify how you feel, which is common for autistic folks (and ok) notice if your stimming (rocking back and forth, twirling pieces of your hair) or tic behaviors (picking at your face, nails) increase in those situations.That is an excellent indicator. The same is true with avoidance behaviors or distorted thinking (blaming, assuming, feeling like everyone is out to get you).
What sensory challenges may add to your stress, e.g., your work is too noisy and you can’t focus or your partner has the music too loud as you are talking, there is a strong smell at the grocery story, the texture of your shirt bothers you, the taste of your coffee is too strong.
What executive function challenges are potentially causing you to struggle; e.g., initiating a task, managing your time, remembering things, being flexible in a situation where there is a lot of change happening, stopping one project when you don’t want to?
Next, use these resources for managing your stress:
Practice mindfulness:
Regulating your body and your stress levels are crucial in helping you manage your day-to-day life as an autistic person. I have found significant benefits by practicing daily mindfulness (self regulation) tools to alleviate my emotional and sensory overload.
Mindful practices include:
Deep breathing (inhaling to the count of 2, pausing to the count of 2, exhaling to the count of 3)
Pausing (imagine pushing a pause button
Imagine turning down the volume on your thoughts; notice how you feel in your body when you do this
Journaling your physical discomfort as neutral as possible-just state what you notice without judging yourself
Reframing what you say. Instead of saying “My life is over” what if you said, “This is indeed terrible but I know with support I will get through this even if right now I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Take a short (or long) walk
Exercise daily if possible for 20 mins; lifting weights is great for proprioception
Talk to a safe person(someone you trust), staying away from screens to reset your brain(so important especially before bedtime!)
Purchase and use a weighted blanket or vest if that feels good(great for proprioception)
Attending weekly therapy with an autism specialist and having an AS specific support group will also help you feel less alone and more hopeful.
Morning and evening rituals and routines are necessary!
Mornings can be really hard for individuals on the autism spectrum. Having to stick to a routine for staying organized and getting out the door on time can be hard for a number of reasons. Practicing the following can help calm your mind, help you stay focused and make your day flow smoother:
Practice leaving your phone and screens outside your bedroom and don’t look at them for at least 30 minutes upon waking up. This allows your brain to start off on a positive and gentle note instead of being put in an anxiety-ridden tailspin. Here is an article on the benefits of taking a break from your smartphone: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/unplug-please/
Say a positive affirmation (“I got this”; “Today is a new day”; “I can handle today”; “My life overall is good”) before getting out of bed-notice that this can help your mood. Here is an article on the science behind positive affirmations: https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/
Take 5 minutes of quiet time to close your eyes and meditate. This can be counting slowly in your mind (if your mind tends to wander like mine does), quietly in your mind repeat a mantra (e.g., a mantra is a word such as peace or love), or inhale and exhale to the count of 2. Here is an article on the science behind meditation: https://www.mindful.org/10-things-we-know-about-the-science-of-meditation/
If you follow a routine for getting ready pay attention to each task you do-be really present to it.
Eat a healthy breakfast; it helps you with energy and focus. Check out this article that explains the benefits of eating breakfast: https://www.rush.edu/health-wellness/discover-health/why-you-should-eat-breakfast
Having an evening routine to wind down before you go to bed is crucial to getting a solid, sleep-filled and great for overall sleep hygiene. As AS folks, if we don’t get enough sleep, we may be more likely to be reactive, more rigid, get easily overloaded (more than our norm) and struggle through our day. Here are some things you can do to quiet your mind before you go to bed:
Lastly, and so important for us autistic folks to do more of- celebrate your wins! If you start a morning or evening routine and it is going well, pat yourself on the back! You deserve to reward yourself even if you tell yourself “Great Job!” for practicing these new rituals and routines.
In Kindness,
Candice
References:
Becker, J. 2017. 7 Important Reasons to Unplug, Find Space, and Fight Technology Addiction. Becoming Minimalist. Retrieved from:https://www.becomingminimalist.com/unplug-please/
Moore, K. 2019. Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It? PositivePsychology.com. Retrieved from: daily-affirmations
Smith, J.A., Suttie, J. Jazaieri, H., Newman, K.M. 2018. 10 Things We Know About the Science of Meditation.Mindfulness Research. Retrieved from: https://www.mindful.org/10-things-we-know-about-the-science-of-meditation/
Sleep Advisor. 2020. Should You Eat Just Before Bed? – All The Risks Explained. Sleep Advisor. Retrieved from: eat-just-before-bed-risks